recently, i've realized that i doubt myself.. a lot. and i second guess myself.. a lot. there have been situations in my life where i have said "oh i'm not good for this" or "oh, this just isn't gonna work out" when i KNOW--in my heart i guess--that it will work out or i will be good at something. but. . .J U S T I N C A S E something goes wrong in the process. . .just incase i'm not good at that one thing i knew i would be good at.. or just incase that thing doesn't work out, i doubt it all.
i'm not sure when i started but i guess i figured out why. not being able to have something that you want so badly leads to disappointment. thinking you're P E R F E C T for something, when, come to find out, you're just not right for it leads to disappointment. i guess i've been disappointed too many times. so i think my subconscious has put up some sort of defense mechanism to help me avoid it.
i'm proud of myself though.. i guess i'm proud that i've finally realized what i'm doing to myself and i guess now it's time for me to break a habit that i've had for so long.
and this was just something random i’ve been thinking about.
kansas.
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wow. thats deep i like.
ReplyDeletesometimes people need to realize something bout there life as well
thank you :] and yes, that's very true. you have to realize things about yourself in order to figure out who you truly are.
ReplyDelete"think my subconscious has put up some sort of defense mechanism to help me avoid it."
ReplyDeletewell, aren't we in the same boat. i used to think that self-doubt was just something that ran in my family line but, i think it's only because we're all worriers. are you a worrier?
but i do hope you reach your goals and that everything works out for the best!