Saturday, August 1, 2009

blame it on me .

and another one. i see, i hear, i feel . . my perspective.

so there's this song: blame it on me by chrisette michelle ( love this woman; listen to her shit! ) basically i can understand where she's coming from in this song.

he tries to take the blame off of HIMSELF by blaming everything on HER. now this she's treating him right, doing for him, respecting him, loving him. . .just the whole fuckin nine yards, right ? but then she gets accused of being a liar, a cheater, or anything she could be accused of because he's in the wrong.

so the she gets worked up. she puts all of her energy trying to PROVE HER INNOCENCE because she's not doing anything wrong. . .but, that's the plan; that's exactly what he wants. he wants her to be frustrasted, annoyed, PISSED THE FUCK OFF because she isn't doing anything wrong. he wants to put the blame on her; take the focus off him.

but that's when she has to say FUCK IT. you know what? PUT THE BLAME ON ME. just "blame it on me. . .as long as it's over." but she's not a quitter. naw, she ain't no quitter. she just ain't got the time for fuckery, don't have time to deal with the bullshit anymore. she just ain't got the time to be to be the one who's mentally and emotionally drained because of some he's blaming her for the mistakes that he made.

you can say whatever you like
as long as we just say goodbye

blame it on me
say it’s my fault
say that i left you outside in the cold with a broken heart
i really don’t care
i ain’t cryin’ no more
say I’m a liar, a cheater say anything that you want
as long as it’s over

and when she knows she did all she possibly do, what else is there to possibly do?


communication . . or lack of .

i see things, i hear things, and i feel things. i feel a certain way about certain situations . . and i hate when relationships end over something as stupid as lack of communication.

communication is supposedly a big factor in keeping a relationship going, right ? so why keep everything to yourself, knowing it could possibly jeopardize a relationship that you "wanted." if you feel a certain way about something your girlfriend has done . . or I S N ' T doing, then nigga. . .SPEAK UP! don't bit your tongue, biting your tongue is painful and i know you'on want that feeling. but seriously, all sarcasm aside. if there's something needed to be said in order to keep your relationship going, then don't hold back. let her know.

and yea it may be hard to tell her how you're feeling but think about it like this. if it's something that you want--if SHE'S the one that you want--then you got to do what you have to do to keep her. you can't have her trying her hardest with you when you not trying with her. she can't put in 50 while you're putting in 25; cause i swear, that equation don't add up. 50 plus 25 DOES not equal 100. AND THEN ( Lord have mercy ) don't run off to the next female because you think it's easier than confronting the problems in your relationship. that shit is low, disrespectful, and obviously immature because you apparently aren't man enough to handle situations with the person you supposedly wanted to be with.

idk. that shit really blows my mind. like i can't grasp the concept . . guys make the simplest things seem so complicated. like their mind set is stuck on "communication is equal to sensitivity. masculinity is NOT equal to sensitivity. therefore; IF it has to do with communicating, THEN it ain't happening!"

but hey, maybe i'm wrong. maybe it's another reason why guys have a hard time communicating. but shit, if you want it to work you better build a bridge and get over that shit. better write a fucking letter or SOMETHING. it's really not as hard as it seems.


Monday, July 27, 2009

words unsaid .

ever felt like there was so much you wanted to say, but you couldn't get it out at that specific moment in time? and then.. right afterwards, all the words come rushing in at once and it has you thinking, "why didn't i say this? why didn't i tell em this?" then those questions turn into words unsaid because you don't get the chance to speak on it again.

when why didn't i tell you
turns into
i wish i would've told you
and then i wish i would've told you
results in
heart aches
and head aches
from thinking of things
i should've and could've said
this and that
or maybe that or this
now i'm hoping
i get another chance instead
i can reveal these words unsaid

but this wasn't supposed to be a poem, shit. this was just supposed to be some how i'm feeling shit, scribble it down shit.


and i wanna thank you, and YOU

i just wanted to take this time out to thank everyone who's following me :] ( i sound like i'm giving a speech lol but yea. . . ) i hope you guys enjoy my blogs and leave comments here and there if you wanna "SPEAK ON IT" lol. but i truly thank you guys !

xoxo, kansas.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

doubt ; such a bad habit.

& this isn't about the movie, this is about my life ..

recently, i've realized that i doubt myself.. a lot. and i second guess myself.. a lot. there have been situations in my life where i have said "oh i'm not good for this" or "oh, this just isn't gonna work out" when i KNOW--in my heart i guess--that it will work out or i will be good at something. but. . .J U S T I N C A S E something goes wrong in the process. . .just incase i'm not good at that one thing i knew i would be good at.. or just incase that thing doesn't work out, i doubt it all.

i'm not sure when i started but i guess i figured out why. not being able to have something that you want so badly leads to disappointment. thinking you're P E R F E C T for something, when, come to find out, you're just not right for it leads to disappointment. i guess i've been disappointed too many times. so i think my subconscious has put up some sort of defense mechanism to help me avoid it.

i'm proud of myself though.. i guess i'm proud that i've finally realized what i'm doing to myself and i guess now it's time for me to break a habit that i've had for so long.

and this was just something random i’ve been thinking about.



hey everyone! i'm finally able to post a blog. . .so i won't go deep since this is my first post, i'll just be introducing myself. i'm kansas, and this is my blog!

i just finished my website which is ( check it out and tell me what you think of it =] ) but yea. i just finished my website, and i have to set this blog up so it can be pretty. stay tuned for that!

anyway, i'm mostly going to be blogging about my everyday life and randomness. i MAY post my poems on here, but i'm not sure if i want to lol. i mean, i'm no maya angelou, but i my writing is my love and i wouldn't want anyone to bite it and call it their own, you know. so like i said, i may not post my poems but i will post everything from poetic thoughts to random surveys so you can get to know me. i guess this is just my way to release.

i hope you enjoy & leave comments :] and check out my site ( of you haven't already )

xoxo, kansas.